Couples Therapy
with Daniel Jonathan
Invest in Your Relationship and Each Other
Helping you navigate the ups and downs as a team.
Intimacy that is dynamic and lasting
frees you to be who you are.
I help couples build mutual recognition into their lives together, the experience of truly seeing and being seen by your partner. This is key to the synergy of intimacy and individuality that adds value and excitement to a relationship. Mutual recognition is not exclusive to any one form of coupling. I serve people of all backgrounds and identities, in partnering arrangements of any kind.
On this page:
Mutual Recognition
Pre-Commitment
After an Affair
The Intimacies of Separate Selves
Or "what realities do you inhabit?"
Each of you has your own, rich world of experience — shaped through different histories, different fears, desires, and ways of making sense of things. Even in the same space, at the same moment, you stand in two different realities. This basic truth can be the foundation of richness and intimacy together, or of deadness and estrangement. A dynamic and enduring connection requires active recognition of each other’s world. When that falls short for one or both of you, you can begin to feel like strangers, even in close proximity.
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there.”
– Jalal al-Din Muhammad Rumi
Conflict is not
the enemy of intimacy
-- avoidance is
A good disagreement moves toward mutual understanding and the negotiation of separate needs, though rarely without real effort. Fighting well means getting past entrenched, repetitive battles over who’s right and who’s wrong, and finding a place where you can meet each other instead. Part of that is recognizing how your partner’s early relationships continue to shape how they experience the two of you now. The real task is to imagine — to try, imperfectly, to sense what it’s like to be inside your partner’s experience in the moment — to feel some of what they feel, and to experience how it makes sense to them.
The Intimacies of Merger, or "the relationship has a mind of its own
I help couples develop their own unique and vital forms of intimacy. Such intimacy emerges from each partner’s efforts to know the other deeply and use this knowledge to be well together. In our work, I meet individually with each of you on a regular basis and we bring our resulting insights and awareness to meetings with the three of us. As you progress, individual sessions decrease. You begin to perceive your relationship as a dynamic blend of separateness and union. It is not only a meeting of minds, it has a mind of its own. It is a dynamic whole, greater than the sum of its parts. At any given time you can choose to give yourself to it or stand back, apart and on your own terms. When as a couple you begin to realize this dynamic blend, you discover more aliveness, spontaneity, and creative energy together.
Pre-Commitment Counseling
If you are preparing for marriage, coupling, partnering, living together – whatever form your union takes – I can help you get a productive and more confident start. Pre-commitment work can deepen your partnership by helping you to craft and clarify your understandings of what it means to be partners, and to align your visions for the future. Together we explore important matters such as family dynamics, personal values, communication styles, finances, children, and intimacy.
I place a strong emphasis on mutual attunement and listening, and on resolving conflicts by prioritizing each person’s subjective experience rather than their assumptions about what is simply “true.” We explore each partner’s family history so that you can bring greater awareness and intention to the relationship you’re building together.
After an Affair
“Betrayal hurts, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart.”
– Esther Perel
After and affair, we begin by processing the intense emotions — betrayal, guilt, rage, grief. From there we seek to understand the root causes of the infidelity and begin the slow work of rebuilding trust. Together we construct a narrative of the affair and locate it within the larger story of the relationship, moving toward decisions about its future — whether that means recommitting in a new key, or making a good ending.
Find common ground with couples therapy.
In our therapy sessions, I create an open space where you’re safe to share your feelings and work through your relationship challenges with the help of an impartial perspective.
Frequently asked questions
What can I expect during couples therapy?
In couples therapy, you’ll have an accepting, unbiased space to have honest conversations. I’ll help you communicate more clearly, resolve conflict better, and deepen your connection.
Is couples therapy only for serious problems like infidelity or divorce?
Not at all. Couples therapy is for anyone who wants to improve the quality of their relationship, no matter the issues. It’s not just for when things are falling apart, many couples choose therapy proactively to work on communication skills and enrich their bond.
Do both partners need to attend therapy?
Yes, to get the most out of the therapy sessions both partners need to be involved. It gives each of you the chance to express your thoughts and concerns in a supportive, non-judgmental space. This way, I can better understand your relationship and how to help you both move forward.
How will therapy help us improve our communication?
Therapy helps you and your partner learn how to express your needs and feelings in a way that promotes understanding rather than conflict. You’ll learn skills like active listening, validation, and leading with empathy rather than defensiveness.
